The Early Bird...

There's a saying where I come from, which is now fairly universal; The early bird cathes the worm. Where this mornings journey to work was concerned, the opposite applied. Running a tad later than normal, I exited the tube station with speed in my stride only to stop dead when this little tyke caught my eye. I proceeded to 'catch the worm', there and then. Swift and fast. And what a catch. Just take a look at the attention to detail; The rebelliouos neck tie technique where the shorter and stubbier it is, the better. Then theres the zipper on the Umbro training jacket, lowered in order to expose the neck tie with out obscuring, as if the all-boy school emblem is a flag of which to be proud. Look at the hat, a pseudo-New Era type cap pulled right down for ultimate identity concealment topped with the shower proof hood, so carefully placed. At this point I would like to say that today is one of the very few real summers mornings we are likely to see in London and such attire is way beyond necessary. This look was meticulously constructed and will be stringently stuck to regardless of the climate. This a social shield. Hailing from Stratford, London, home of the increasingly present Olympic stadium, this young man was out scouting the West End for a new pair of kicks. Although wearing black trainers to his school is an excludable offence, today he will replace his current "mash-up" pair with something in the same vein, happily running the risk of punishment, gesturing toward his baggy fit school trousers that largely conceal the make up of his chosen foot coverings. "They don't see me" he says, with a smug sense of victory in his early morning rasp.
Here's to stealth and going to school; a challenging task, increasingly comparable to an SAS mission in these knife-crime riddled times.

Ralph from The Muppets

No longer happy to settle for Superman New Eras or the very shady Warner Bros cartoon icon hoodies, the new 'mans on road' look is a deconstructed minimalist take on a long standing family entertainment icon: Ralph The Dog AKA the piano playing hooch from The Muppets. It's all about the flappy ears, it brings a misleading soft edge to an otherwise sinister satorial selection. But the hat alone isn't enough as a tool of identity concealment, oh no, you still need the hood. That tried and tested, socially contested head covering gets primary head priority, followed by the new urban crown, the Ralph hat. Talking of crowns, I reckon this guy is actually taking his queue from Richard The Lionheart, who often donned his crown, the finishing touch to a full body of armour, over a hood of chainmail. So, there you have it, this is after all a soldiers look rocked by a muppet.

Ralph from The Muppets pt.2

...the close up!

Under the influence

Whenever I find myself in a drunk and disorderly state at midday I tend to head for the sofa. Failing that I'll opt for the suitably serene public offering of a park bench. Never, I say never, would I chance propping up a lamp post in the middle of a busy thoroughfare. "Wibbly on feet spells likely defeat". Thats what my old man always said, and thats what I stand by, particularly in the case of an inebriated human versus a flurry of petrol powered mechanoids. You can't dodge cars when you're pissed dude. Especially when you're drowning in an abundance of tech fabric. It may well wick away the blood sweat and tears but it won't fend off the breaks. Smash, bang, wallop... ouch!